I Said Yes

Story Time

The other night I lead worship with my squad for the first time here in Baku, Azerbaijan. It was such a beautiful time humbling myself before God and worshipping Him. 

Mary, who is our worship coordinator, asked me the day before if I would be willing to sing a few songs and play guitar. 

I said yes. But there is a story behind that yes that I felt needed to be shared here and might help someone.

But first, shout out to Solomon, Eric, Tyler, and Nicole for all letting me practice on your guitars at various times during these past months. For fun, I’ve included a description of what it was like playing each of their guitars.

How I Describe The Guitars I’ve Played:

Soloman – fresh, warm bread with a maple, honey butter spread. (I’d expect nothing less from a Taylor.)

Eric – Ed Sheeran X guitar; it’s feels like driving down backroads with the windows down.

Tyler – Fender; his guitar felt like that favorite casual sweatshirt that makes you look and feel awesome in autumn.

Nicole – it made me think of a piña colada. Not my favorite flavor, but it’s great on a hot day.

I grew up in band class all through middle and high school. In the concert season, I was a percussionist and during marching band, I played the quads. I was very comfortable in those places, but never really got into set playing until high school.

I also went to youth group, but I never fully committed to playing in the worship band although I would hang out with them a lot. Fortunately there were older students that already knew how to play those instruments so I didn’t have to.

I would argue that the drums are the most important instrument in all bands. If you screw up the tempo and rhythm, people notice. You can’t hide and you feel very exposed.

The argument I would use to avoid stepping out of my comfort zone was by quoting the Psalm where it says, “Play skillfully unto the Lord…”

Well, I can’t play skillfully because im still a newbie so I’m not even going to do it. I turned down every opportunity to play drums because I was not confident in my abilities and wasn’t willing to gain the experience in making mistakes. My heart was on that stage playing, but I allowed fear to win.

I regretted that. 

Later in life, I was reflecting on those decisions and feeling disappointed in myself for allowing fear to get the best of me. So I told God, “If you ever need a worshipper, I’ll do it. Even if I know I’m gonna suck, I’ll do it. Whether it’s drums, singing, a cowbell…if there is a need, I’ll do it.”

Lo and behold, my moment had come in the form of a freighter on the Caspian Sea. The person supposed to lead worship that night on ship wasn’t feeling well and dropped out. None of our seasoned worship leaders were jumping to do it so me and a few other newbies stepped up to the plate.

Now I’d like to say that our ragtag bunch of inexperienced worship leaders played like David, the Holy Spirit fell, our Muslim friends had an encounter with Jesus, and we sang like a host of angels. 

But this isn’t a Hollywood film, this is real life. We struggled. We faltered. We forgot chords and lyrics. We even had to start one song over again because people were singing in about five different keys. (Haha, that was really funny.)

But that’s why I’m thankful God asks us to make a “joyful noise” and that He “looks at the heart”. Because that night my heart was in the right place, but my fingers were a little shaky.

Slowly, I’ve been getting better. When Mary asked me this time, it gave me an opportunity to practice beforehand on Tyler’s guitar. 

I definitely made mistakes during worship. I played the wrong chord at the wrong time and sometimes the strum pattern got a little wonky, but man, this time I could feel the Spirit as we worshipping. I felt how pleased God was that we were aligning our hearts with His and giving Him everything that night. 

God isn’t looking for perfect, He’s looking for people who have a “yes” in their Spirit and are willing to give Him everything. Don’t let fear dictate your decisions and never be afraid of trying something new.

I’m still fundraising and I’m only $685 away from achieving this goal! Praise the Lord! If you want to help, please donate, pray, and continue to read my blogs. I hope they continue to bless you. Thank you!